Darkness Does Precede The Storm

Writing when I’m dark has always been private…until now. I am at a place on my spiritual path that I can now recognize this too shall pass and this is not me…however…it is my current reality at the moment. I love that I have taught myself to walk out…and perhaps writing about it can be inspiring…

The past is the past…nothing can change that…what I do with memories of it…I CAN change. I have come to recognize “triggers”…something arises in me that brings complete and utter dread and sadness…and anger. How I feel is my reality at that moment. I go into my mind and ask myself…”What is this about?”…and then listen. There are times when the answer comes quickly and times when I must stay there to experience the pain…to learn…to grow. Crying comes easy when I feel like this…anger can as well. I allow myself to cry…feel sad…be angry…express it…

Feeling lost and hopeless sucks…smiles become lost to struggle…and I just want to soothe. I use to think only someone or something else could make it all better. Yes! There have been times when someone says just the right thing at just the right moment or something happens that brings about that smile I am so yearning for. I love when that happens! However, thinking┬ásomeone or something else is going to soothe me gives away my power…causes expectations…and causes negativity. To truly find the place of peace I want to be, I must choose to reach deep inside my mind and do the work. The effort allows me to take the steps back to where I belong…where I deserve to be…where I want to be. “I” is key…in getting back to me.

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4 thoughts on “Darkness Does Precede The Storm”

  1. Mom, you need to write a book… Seriously! You are inspiring and wise in so many ways. The amount of growth I have seen in you over the course of my lifetime is truly impressive and admirable. You’re experiences, journey, lessons, advice, etc. are worth talking about and sharing. I appreicate you doing so. Continue to reach out and share. You have so much to offer and I know you will continue to touch lives whether that be family members, friends or strangers on the street. I am so damn proud of you, Mom! You are forever my hero.

    1. Thank you, Kales, for your encouragement. I AM writing a book…it’s just in a million pieces! lol …My motivation and inspiration has been lacking lately…however…finding your comments is perhaps the wake up call I need! =)

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